Ten Reasons I Ain't the General Manager

No disrespect to Ned Colletti, for we have had differences with every Dodgers general manager since, well, since the guy who hired Leo Durocher as manager.

(For you kids, Leo Durocher regularly told more lies than a 21st century presidential candidate -- except that sometimes the bullets Leo the Lip, aka Leo the Dip, dodged could well have been real).

But back to how we and Ned Colletti differ.

First, Jason Repko would not have been optioned. Why keep and outfielder who never could throw and now can't hit and send a kid who does both those and more out?

We do not know and would not have optioned Repko. We'd have put Delwyn Young on waivers first. If somebody wants the kid hitting .150, well, that is okay.

Second, Clayton Kershaw would now be in the big leagues.

Period.

Why? Simply because he is not only the current best number five starter on the Dodgers, he is also the best number four pitcher, the number three best pitcher and on and on. We don't care how old the kid or is not.

Third, we'd have never signed Jason Schmidt at all. We are not fond of pitchers in their third to mid late 30s who already have had a history of the weak arm.

Fourth, we'd have at least paused to try to figure out why after getting Juan Pierre into their uniforms almost immediately tried to find a way to get rid of him.

Fifth, we would not have resigned Nomar Garciaparra or for that matter took him in the first place.

Sixth, we wouldn't have wasted so much time on Chan Ho Park and the legion of other old pitchers the Dodgers wasted so much time on this spring.

Last year, the Dodgers could have had 1B Carlos Peña for nothing. This year, they could have done the same with infielder Jorge Cantu.

The only thing we can figure out is that the Dodgers are not particularly strong in their big league scouting department as most other teams in baseball.

Seventh, we'd have a manager on the bench with a chance to stay awake longer then me at least during the course of a regular game, much less than any extra inning contests.

We watched Casey Stengel in his later years sleep through the better part of seasons.

We watched Tommy Lasorda catnap for often than not.

Baseball at least some of the time requires a manager to be awake.

Hence our fondness for Joe Girardi or that new guy in Kansas City. At least no doze is not yet an illegal substance in baseball.

The eighth reason we differ is Clayton Kershaw.

The ninth reason we differ is Clayton Kershaw.

And the tenth reason remains Clayton Kershaw.